As we navigate through our families, careers, and faith, it is easy for our purpose to get lost. As followers of Christ, this starts with the great commission. Matthew 28:16-19 says: 16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. This verse is also found in Mark 16:15-20. Within this verse, the church finds its mission statement. Jesus is given all authority. This is why our relationship with Jesus is so critical, as He only shares authority with/ disciples. Within the verse, we find a COMMAND, not a suggestion or a request.
          One of the main ideas here is Discipleship, which I think often gets lost in the mix. How do we make disciples? Sometimes people think that making disciples is evangelism, and I’m not saying it isn't part of it, but the effectiveness of a church can be measured by whether it makes disciples. It’s an amazing step when someone decides to follow Christ, but who is stepping into the gap to make sure they are loved, brought into community, and learn the Word of God? To make disciples, we must Go, Baptize, and Teach. For this blog, our focus will be on GO. GO, this is outside the church and its confines; ministry starts outside the walls of the church. We sometimes get fooled into thinking that people need to come to us. As you watch Jesus in His ministry, we see Him going out to meet people where they are and love them, regardless of their station or circumstance. BE ACTIVE, go beyond boundaries of comfort and the safety you find within the four walls of the church building.  The purpose is to encourage and support other workers and missionaries. Take your witness (testimony) with you and share the Gospel!!! We are each uniquely qualified to share our story with someone who will relate to and understand it!
          DO WE HAVE THE COURAGE AND BOLDNESS TO STEP INTO WHO CHRIST IDENTIFIES US TO BE IN HIS KINGDOM TO MAKE DISCIPLES? We saw this type of boldness in Isaiah 6:8-13: 8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” Here we see Isaiah say, "Here I am, send me." Isaiah goes out even when he knows the people are defiant and would stay that way. People are blind to their sin, deaf to God's call to repentance, and their minds are covered in a fog that the world is happy to maintain, so they cannot understand and heal (I was no different without Christ in my heart). Lucifer's main weapon against us is fear. Fear is a place where God is not invited, and we cannot survive. Isaiah finds his purpose in who God calls him to be, and I think we can all feel like no one will hear us, and we use that as an excuse not to embrace our calling fully.
          We easily fall into the "titles" that the world and circumstances would bestow on us.
Father, Uncle, son, Accountant, Lawyer, Dr., to name a few. What are your titles? Have you asked God who HE calls you, or are we more willing to accept the lies Satan provides us with for our identity? What agreements do we make with the Enemy to stay within those lies and numb ourselves from the chaos around us? What types of fear surround making that choice? A few of them for me were: I’m not qualified, I’m a sinner, or I wouldn't know what to do or say. For me Fear/Anxiety is just something I make up in my head. I am NOT saying that fear/anxiety are not real things, THEY ARE. I had to realize that I have survived every worst day I have had so far, and with Christ at the center, will survive the rest until it is time to go home.
I often hear people say they can't hear God's voice, but I know He is always speaking. Our relationship with Him determines how well we can hear that voice. If we do not know Him and intentionally focus on that relationship, how would we expect to recognize His voice? Here are some other verses that encourage us to be bold and courageous.
     Joshua 1:9 – Commanded to be bold/courageous. Do not be discouraged
     Acts 4:29-31 – Speak your word with all boldness
     2 Timothy 1:6-7 Do not be passive with your gifting and develop it for the benefit of others.
          For the most part, we are already using the gifting that God has given us, but it is generally manifesting for our use, not HIS!!!!!! I often felt in the past that I needed to "FIGURE OUT" what I needed to do or where I should be going. Someone asked me the other day, "How do you know this is the place God calls you to?" All I can say is that you will know when you get there, and God will reinforce it with the people you meet there. THE SPIRIT WILL LEAD YOU TO THE PLACE IN HIS KINGDOM THAT HE IS CALLING YOU. SOMETIMES IT SOUNDS A LITTLE CRAZY, AND ALMOST ALWAYS IT ISN'T SOMETHING THAT FRANK WOULD DO BEFORE HE KNEW JESUS!
          What do I need to do? Be Intentional in my relationship with Christ. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:15-17: 15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Go with the ebb and flow that ministry brings – there is purpose in this, and the Holy Spirit will lead us to where we should be and never be passive!  Luke 9:23 tells us to take up the cross daily and follow Him. Be willing to embark on a healing journey from the world to remove some of the obstacles standing between us and the FREEDOM that healing provides. Psalm 86:11 tells us 11 Teach me your way, Lord,     that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart,   that I may fear your name.
Paul writes in Colossians 2:6-7: 6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
          We need to understand the authority that we are sent with (this goes back to Matthew 28:19), and our confidence should not be in ourselves, but in Jesus, who promised to be with us. Use Jesus' ministry as a template for our own. Above all else, use Love as our greatest tool. Meet people where they are at (this is at various stages and can include mental, physical, and spiritual). Build relationships. This is messy business; we need to learn how to trust and understand what forgiveness looks like. More often than ot, that person's behavior is not about you, and it is essential to have well-defined boundaries. Take some things on faith. We are not always going to know the "why" behind something, so try to engage the "what" (what do I need to learn or do in this place).
            In closing, I would like to leave you with two questions to reflect on:
     Do I have the courage/boldness to fulfill who God calls me to be in His Kingdom?
     Am I willing to find freedom through healing and forgo my fears?
    Prayer - Lord, as we go forth from here and step into the world, we ask for boldness and courage to engage those around us, to set our fears aside, to find and embrace authentic healing to give us freedom to serve in the places God calls us to. We also ask that you bring people into the spaces we occupy so they can get to know and hear who you are and represent you well.

     Hello everyone. I hope this finds you well and that things are moving positively. I am sure that is a common theme this time with the celebration of the New Year. Generally, I take the last two weeks of December to shut my brain off from the worries and burdens of the world and dive into a time of reflection and renewal. It is a good place to look at the previous twelve months and meditate on the good, bad, and ugly (ironically, this makes me think of one of my favorite old-school Clint Eastwood westerns). Regardless of where we are in our walk with Jesus, we experience all three of these conditions. This is really evident in the book of Job in the Old Testament. Where I did not really appreciate much of the writings found here during my early days of following Christ, I have come to see a deep appreciation and the depths of wisdom that can be collected from within. In Job, we find, "Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high" (Job 16:19 New International Version."
     God advocates for us and has already written our story. He wants us to take that story, tell it to others, and show how it glorifies Him. The real challenge is whether we will embrace it and share the details with the world. I recently had the opportunity to be a guest on Grace Unscripted (the link to the podcast is on my webpage, right column ½ way down) and share part of my story. Where it flows better, it is never easy to expose myself to strangers. I always jump at these types of things as it grants access to a much larger audience. The goal here is that when people listen to this, it hopefully speaks to them positively through encouragement, and they will consider seeking help with their traumas. We are not alone despite what the world tells us and the shameful isolation practices forced upon us during the COVID pandemic. God did not design us to be solitary but to live and thrive in community. We can find an authentic community in the Book of Acts, where there is an example of sharing life.
     Many of our stories are filled with tragedy, brokenness, and sorrow. The problem is that we focus on these things and rarely take the time to look at how these things have shaped us as people. We say things like, "That is how I'm wired," or "Do not mind Bill, he is just being Bill." I can say that without the trauma and challenges placed before me, I would not be effective in the ministry God has prepared for me. It is part of the equipping and skill set He has provided for me. Did it suck? Of course. Am I still healing? Yes! The trauma never goes away, but today, I have a choice to let it have control, or I can talk through the false narrative that it created and let the truth claim victory in that space.
     Sharing your story is complicated. There are so many things that run through our minds. Will people think less of me? Will I lose friends? Will people still like the real me? Does my version of the truth damage relationships? Is there shame and guilt that surround parts of my story? Am I willing to admit I was the person who did those things? The answer to all of those questions is YES! Telling our story can also be a place of freedom and healing. It lets us recognize in our own words what we've been through and encourages others around us who may have experienced similar situations and circumstances. My experience has been that my testimony will speak to someone in the audience. I hope it encourages them to come forward, share with someone, and start down the path of mental health recovery. Too often in society, we label things as something they are not. To add to the burden, it is scrutinized under a lens of shame and guilt, which always leads to both emotional and spiritual isolation. Hearing someone else speak about these issues strips away those negative connotations and shows us that we are not the only ones who have experienced this or felt that way. This, in part, helps us engage some of the characteristics Christ modeled. By surrendering our wounds to Him, we can get a clearer sense of what Love, Humility, and Mercy look like in God's kingdom.
     It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to share what is in your heart. Telling your story will expose wounds and open yourself up for criticism. This is where a foundation deeply placed in Christ will help us navigate these deep and turbulent waters. Everyone is a critic, but we must learn to filter these comments, receive what is valid, and discard the rest. Conversely, it is tempting to offer an opinion, but it is often best to leave things unsaid unless solicited in all but the most extreme cases that may impact someone's safety. My primary purpose as a pastoral counselor is to listen and ask questions. The advice part generally comes after a time of building a trusted relationship. If you do not have that, it's probably best to stay quiet and move on. I would also say to be ready to be relational with people. You will be approached after telling your story, and there is a potential here to walk along someone as the process they are going through looks similar to what you have offered in your testimony. These are the places to build trust, friendship, and community, and it all starts with a willingness to engage with others in what bonds us together, a shared experience. I am always grateful for the chance to share my testimony and let others know they are not alone in their struggles.  
     Thank you for taking the time to read through this. I hope you find it insightful and thought-provoking. Some Scripture that I find helpful in exploring this can be found in Acts 22:6-21, 1 Timothy 1:12-17, and Galatians 1:11-24. God Bless!  

     Good Morning everyone! It feels great to be back writing and share a few words with you! Today, I want to examine how titles can hinder our walk with Jesus.
     Who Doesn’t like a title? They are all around us. A few titles I can associate with are Christ Follower, Husband, Father, Veteran, and Business Owner. Each of these titles comes with a unique set of rules or definitions that you or other people would expect to fill when they hear that title. Jesus calls himself by many titles as well. One of my favorites is found in the book of John, “Jesus spoke to them again: I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows me will never walk in the darkness but will have the light of life” (John 8:12 Christian Standard Bible).
     Okay, here is where things will start to get a little challenging, and I will begin to push on your thinking. I am a pro-Church person because, without it, you can not have a Biblical Community, which is necessary for us to stay grounded in our faith. Equally, for many Christians, the Church is the most dangerous place they will ever walk into.
     When talking to people about Jesus, I will refer to myself as a Christ-follower, not a Christian. Why in the wide, wide world of sports would I do such a thing? For me, the simple answer is titles.
A quick Google search tells me there are over 200 denominations of Christians in the United States. That number in itself can be very overwhelming. I am sure I have heard of many of them, but there are plenty I have not. Here is where we will start to get a bit sideways, and I want to place a disclaimer. There are many excellent Bible-teaching, Jesus-loving churches out there and for every one of those, you probably have ten that just flat-out stink (this isn’t a scientific number, just my best guess). Each of these denominations will define to you what your walk with Jesus should look like. They will tell you what prayers you should pray, what you should wear, or how much money you should donate. The lines blur between what the Bible says and what the preacher tells you on Sunday. At times, it is no different from what we see with the Pharisees. Do this, do that, and if you don’t, you cannot get to heaven. It can all seem very confusing, all these rules and things I HAVE to do for Jesus to love me. Wait a minute. Did he say that I need to do all these things for Jesus to love me? I sure did.
     One of the traps we fall into is that we bring something to the table in our relationship with Jesus Christ. I am unsure who started that rumor, but it is untrue. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Jesus’ love is unconditional. I cannot say I can ever fully understand that with my primitive human mind, as it is beyond my comprehension. We are given a place at the table with Him based on his grace and mercy, period, end of sentence. There is no justification or footnotes. It is simply because of His love for us. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have done. He still loves you and wants a profoundly intimate and personal relationship with you!!!!
     So, let us see why I identify as a Christ-follower. All of the other rules and regulations get in the way. It does not advocate a free-for-all and not living life in a Christlike manner. Quite the opposite. The greatest commandment we are given in Matthew is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind” (Matthew 22:36 CSB). How can I focus on Jesus when I have all these rules to follow, and I do not understand many of them?
     I am proposing to put Jesus at the center of our lives and live every day for Him. The Holy Spirit is here to convict and push us in the right direction. Why not let Him define who I am in Christ Jesus? Everything else will follow once we genuinely turn our hearts over to Christ. We will be convicted on which sins to work on and given the tools to deal with them. People will be placed in our lives that will speak truth to us, and in turn, there will be others we can speak truth to. Trails will come and go to help refine and make us pay attention to what God is telling us. Everything else we deal with when we have a title is a distraction. It removes us from placing the center of our heart, mind, and soul into Jesus Christ. When we are not committed to this level, we cannot thrive. The decision needs to be a radical one for it to work. Jesus has to be first, above everything else, with no exceptions. We must be purposeful in making this happen and unlearn what we know.
Along with this decision to follow Jesus comes an immeasurable amount of peace and joy. Once you have found this, you do not want that feeling to go away. One of the most transformational things we see happen in the Bible is when Jesus calls His apostles. He tells them to “follow me.” Being a Christ-Follower has always been about one thing – a deeply personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. When the Holy Spirit leads us and we are convicted, great things can happen to those around us. We can bless and serve them in the way God intended, with the work He has prepared us to do.
     There are two questions I would like to leave with you today. First, we each have a unique and defined purpose in God’s Kingdom. Will we accept that challenge and joyfully fulfill that commission? The second is Jesus is calling us to follow Him.  Will you accept that calling and embrace that relationship?
     Reflecting on this, I am grateful to realize that I am part of God’s story. I fail just like everyone else and am not unique in that arena. Too often, we will look to our sin as a badge of honor or crutch to lean on, but that is a story for another time. Transformation is the only way to get to the story God has created for us. We know that this is the least traveled road, but our tour guide knows the path well and can take us through any obstacle. Some Scripture that I find helpful in exploring this can be found in Exodus 3:15, Psalm 2:2, and Hebrews 12:2. God Bless!                 

          Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I posted, but I have been tied up with mission trips, school, and busyness. I can get lost in the mundane details of life and will concentrate more on being purposeful when posting to my blog.
            One of the things I enjoy doing in my free time is reading. I generally try reading 10 to 15 pages daily, from two to three books. It might sound ridiculous, but this is how my brain works. I have many ideas for new topics running through my mind right now, but I want to take one from my SAW brother Kurt, who sent me a text a few weeks ago about his dream. He asked me, "What would the world be like without Jesus Christ..or God in general...I think it would be a world like if the Beatles were never a band and made the music that captivated the world...what would divinity mean? I found his question captivating and needed to digest it for a few weeks. I let it sit for a while and felt convicted to write about it today. One thing I truly believe is that Jesus is in everything that exists. The apostle John writes, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (John 1:1 New International Version).
          My walk with Jesus has been filled with high highs and voluminous lows. I tend to learn things the hard way, as my opinion generally means more to me than the reality I face. I typically attribute this as a coping mechanism deeply seated within my trauma to help me survive. Everything I do in life is a choice. Where I cannot control the things around me, I can undoubtedly determine my response to them.
Evil is generally defined as the lack of God in a place. We do not have to look far in our world to find evil. It is everywhere: in politics, business, and even the church. So, what does life without Jesus look like? For me, it looked like a mixed bag of depression, arrogance, alcoholism, bad decisions, and, for almost twenty years of my life, anger. Some of those things came from me, and some from those I surrounded myself with. Seven years ago, if you asked me who I was, I would tell you I was a self-made man who grew up poor and could find a measure of success through hard work and determination. I survived the tragedies of violence, alcoholism, and suicide and was able to scratch a reasonable life out of that. Who was God to me? He was someone I rarely spoke of or thought of and would deny that I had faith in Him. I was in my early forties, still making relational decisions based on my ten-year-old narrative, where I was emotionally abandoned by my parents and looking for any validation to acknowledge my existence. A father figure in my life was non-existent. Any such reference to a man in my life was wrought with pain and fear. I was an out-of-control train traveling 100 mph,  headed to a bridge over an unstable gorge ready to collapse, and I had no brakes or reliable filter. That is what life without Jesus looks like.
          We received orders to go to Afghanistan late in 2009. I spent the next 18 months training and preparing for my deployment. I cleaned out my garage and other places around my home so that if I died, my family would not have to go through the pain of sorting my things. I made a will that dictated my last wishes. I made peace with God (the one I understood then) with what I may have to do to survive and return to my family. Then, my world started to fall apart around me. Three months before we left, my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and they did not know how long she would live. Other close relationships around me started to erode. I was isolated and alone. Our deployment was relatively uneventful, but going to places like that changes you and your outlook on the world. No one comes back unchanged. Big Army does a great job training us to fight wars but is not so great at preparing us to reenter society.
          We got home in September 2012, just over a year from our departure date. My mother passed away in June of 2013. By September 2014, I was divorced and seeing a social worker at the VA due to readjustment issues (10 years later, I am still seeing someone at the VA). Mentally, I was in distress and did not know where to turn. I started returning to church as I felt Jesus pulling at me, calling me to Him, even though I denied Him regularly. In 2016, I found myself challenged by the Holy Spirit with two things: going to Kenya, Africa, on a short-term missions trip and venturing back to school for my Master's Degree.
          The first problem was I had no desire to leave the country and interact with a foreign culture. The last time I did that, it did not go so well. Second, in my mid-forties, what business did I have going to school? How would I pay for it, and what would I study? I was well established in a career; there was no way it could help me!
          To answer your question, my brother, this is what the world looks like without God.
          What does the world look like with God? Let’s fast forward to the present day. We went to Kenya on our first mission trip in 2017, and Jesus lit a fire in my heart for the people there and others like them worldwide. By the end of this year, I will have completed eight trips to three locations in two countries. They have been heartfelt experiences where I have formed life-long friendships and have been able to share a few trips with my current wife and youngest daughter. It has taught me what the love of Jesus looks like and how He can use us to answer prayers when we are willing to be obedient and say yes. I finished my Master’s in Biblical Studies in 2018 and am on track to complete my Doctorate in Ministry In Pastoral Counseling in July of this year. I can now look back at all the challenges and tragedies in my life and thank God for equipping me with the tools needed to do the work He has set before me. The biggest lesson learned is that I am not alone! I do not need to suffer in isolation or silence. Please get in touch with me if you need a safe place or just someone to talk to. Life is not designed to be done alone.
          Reflecting on this, I am grateful to realize that I am part of God’s story. I know what the world looks like when I do not live like God exists. Without His reckless pursuit and unconditional love for me, I would not have seen the significant transformation I have undergone and embraced the work before me. Some Scripture that I find helpful in exploring this can be found in Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 3:18, and 5:17. God Bless!               

  One of the things that is easy to struggle with is how we view ourselves. How do we reflect deeply on “me” to have a realistic look at who/what we are? For many years, it was, “I’m a self-made man. I did all this stuff.” Truthfully, I was centered in my pride and ego and stuck in my anger. How did I get there? It was simple: I did not love myself. One of the places that started to unravel this lie was Matthew 22:37-39, “Love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
            Okay, that verse is pretty famous, and I have read it several times. The first part is relatively straightforward to understand. Put Jesus first and get out of the world. It's more complicated to do than say, but I comprehend it. Now comes the part that turned the world upside down on me. I was an angry guy (who had no clue he was angry) and did not know why. I blamed it on everyone around me: my ex-wife, kids, boss, or whoever was convenient at the time. The sad part was that I did not know what I was angry about! The last part of that Scripture is in verse 39, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” I did not even know what that meant. I thought I understood what it was saying. Like the guy next store, treat him well, how you would want to be treated, along with all the standard stuff you hear when sitting in church. Then, the Holy Spirit started working on me, challenging me to search for what this meant.
     Where did I land? At first, it felt like a sinkhole I couldn’t get out of that kept filling up with water, and I had forgotten how to swim. I was drowning in my head, unable to understand what I was supposed to get out of this. Then it came to me: maybe I should figure out how to love myself first. The idea of that felt like running into a brick wall with as much speed as I could muster. When I talk about loving yourself, it is out of a servant's mindset, one that is selfless and has the people around you in the first position. I was unsure how to do this or what it would look like. One day, I caught myself peering into the mirror and decided to look deeply. At that moment, I asked myself if I could tell the man staring back at me if I loved him.
     One of the most considerable strongholds trauma had in my life was identity. My mother was married four times. Three of them were before I was 16. Her third husband adopted my sister and I shortly after my sixteenth birthday, so we took his surname. I never had a male figure in my life who validated me, told me I was a man, and that I could be something. I struggled through my teen years to figure out who I was. I married in my early twenties, and my first child was due soon. As the family looked forward to this, my adopted father completed suicide a few months before her birth. This left me in a place that I was familiar with, being alone and not having a clue what it meant to be a father or anyone to rely on to show me. I would figure it out, as I told myself, you always do. It never occurred to me to ask someone else for help. Today, I have three grown children and somehow navigated all that with God’s pointing me in the right direction, even when I did not know it was God.
     I had always defined myself as a self-made man, as I did not know any other way to describe my life. I was afraid to look in the mirror as it would reveal my failures and force me to take an inventory of myself. The first time I looked deeply into those eyes, staring back at the man in the mirror, I saw many things. The man staring back at me felt lost, hurt, confused, abandoned, betrayed, and probably a few other things I had forgotten. I was angry because I felt like a failure and did not know how to define myself. I could not tell that man I loved him; it was a stretch to say I even liked him. My disregard for self-understanding led me to an endless cycle of anger. It stole my joy and left me without hope. I was in denial that I had a problem and I did not need help. All you had to do was ask me. I was fine.
     My path to healing began with my 72 hours at Save A Warrior https://saveawarrior.org/. It was one of my life's most extraordinary experiences and changed its trajectory. My trauma had a name, and I could now put substance to it and had the tools to deal healthily. It will never go away, but I can see the signs and recognize the inappropriate behavior as it starts. My best days are when I choose not to let it have power over me. The pathway to mental sobriety was cleared, and now I need to stay on the path. This does not mean that everything is tremendous and that it's all rainbows and unicorns; it's far from it. It does mean that healing is a priority in my life, and I turn away from the toxic behavior around me and the things that lead away from healing. Toxcisity no longer has a place in my life. It was a choice I needed to make, and I still make it every day. I often think people do not make bad decisions. They must make better ones, take the road less traveled, be different, and approach life differently. Trauma is hard and scary, but all those things need to be dealt with. Do not let your dreams die. Pray the big prayers and take that step in faith. You will not regret it.
     As I reflect on this blog, I am grateful for the community that surrounds me and loves me on my good days and bad days. I am thankful for the challenges I have faced as I can see God in all of them, refining and sharpening me to work in His Kingdom. Take some time to tell that man in the mirror that you love him, and MEAN it! It is okay to say to ourselves that if we do not like a certain trait, that’s a conviction to improve. Additional Scriptures for reflection can be found in Micah 6:8, Matthew 5:1-11, Luke 14:34-25. If you need someone to talk to, please get in touch with me or someone you trust. How can I pray for you today? God Bless! 

Our faith is the cornerstone of what we believe as Christ-followers. A righteous man is defined by the amount of faith he has. Time and time again, Jesus would tell people that their faith is what healed them. One of the questions I ask myself is, what conditions do I put on my faith? Am I obedient to what the Holy Spirit leads me to, or do I not trust that God has my best interest in mind? It leads me to Mark 10:52, where Bartimaeus is healed from blindness due to his faith.
            The funny thing about faith is that we must believe in something we cannot see, touch, or feel. We must trust that those things are accurate and not just a story someone made up.   The Bible has many examples of blind faith in its entirety. One of my favorite movies is The Book of Eli, starring Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, and Mila Kunis. It has most of the boilerplate post-apocalyptic events that you would expect. Violence, desolation, hopelessness, and the ruthless villain you want to see lose. Paying attention to what the main character, Eli, is experiencing is essential. The short version is Eli walking from coast to coast in the United States with the last surviving King James Bible, solely based on where the Holy Spirit guides him. There is no back story given to how he got his faith. Along the way, he receives a traveling companion (that he does not want). What is compelling about this story is the fact that Eli follows the Holy Spirit without question. He gets mixed up in dicey situations, but God is there to reassure him that he will make it through, which he does every time. The most fascinating part of the story is at the end, where his wayward companion picks up his mantle to continue his mission. He makes a disciple simply through him living his faith. Take a minute to think about that. Who are you disciplining by your actions and lifestyle?
Interestingly, when I parallel this to my walk, it is how often I struggle to trust God to guide me and rest my faith in Him. As Americans, we are generally not in a place of danger; most of us live comfortably. I would challenge you that this makes the concept of faith tricky to live and realize. The Romans aren’t out looking for us, and no bandits are around the corner waiting to rob us. This comfort lulls us into a place of complacency where we do not think we have to have faith because I can get where I am by myself. One of the biggest lies I ever told myself was that I was a self-made man. Without God, I have nothing, and I am nothing. I cannot bring anything to that relationship.
          Faith is decisive for the unknown. We can't understand God. As much as we rationalize that it is possible, it is not. Faith puts us in a place where we have peace and comfort when complicated or tragic things happen. Certain events happen that we will not understand, but a mindset of having faith that God has a greater good in mind makes a difference. When was the last time we took the position that when things are good, they are good, but when things are bad, they are good? This can only be obtained with the proper measure of faith. In Matthew 17:20, Jesus mentions having “a mustard seed of faith that can move mountains.” I fail to stir even this amount on most days. It is primarily a struggle when I do not keep my faith focused on Jesus. We must be consistent and purposeful in pursuing our relationship with Jesus. It is the most significant decision to put us on firm footing to find peace and happiness. I often lose track of the fact that I am more of a spiritual being than a physical one, and when my sights are set on that, I starve myself spiritually. 
          Another thing I have often missed is that an excellent way to measure my faith is through my humility or lack of. Take the woman in Luke 8 who had suffered from unstoppable bleeding for 12 years. Her faith told her that she needed only to touch Jesus' garments, and she would be healed. Even more impressive than that is how Jesus reacts to hear. From our worldly viewpoint, one would think she would receive a rebuke for “stealing” the power, but His answer is nothing short of a miracle. In this moment, Jesus purposefully affirms her faith and place in His kingdom. How does this translate to today? For myself, I am transitioning to a place where I trust God more and more every day. I remove the glasses the world has chained me with and let my vision refocus on Jesus. What does this mean? It means doing the things “Frank would not do” because it is not comfortable or popular. It means that when the Holy Spirit presents an open door where he wants me to go, I walk through that door without reservation or question and ask Him to fill in the details when I get there. Where I do not suffer from bleeding, a shriveled hand, or blindness, I have been infected by a virus that is the broken world we live in. We all have this disease. There is only one physician who can cure this sickness. He does not want my money, just my obedience. Am I so prideful that I cannot see past myself to ask for healing? Sadly, some days, that is the case, but there are others where I set my trauma and ego aside, decide it is not in control, and find peace in Jesus. What a small sacrifice to receive His love, grace, and mercy.
            As I reflect on this blog, finding the words to convey how this has impacted my life was a struggle. Where writing is typically very easy for me, I had to spend some time in deep reflection over several days to finish. It reminded me how off-center I can get in the white noise surrounding me. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit has provided clarity for me. Additional Scripture to reflect on include Luke 8:49-56, Mark 2:1-5, and John 5:1-15. God Bless.

     As I looked to advance my educational pursuits and dig deeper into Biblical friendship, it became apparent that discipleship needs to exist in the same space as Biblical friendship. It became clear one evening as I asked for feedback from my pastor on a ministry development plan project I was working on as part of my coursework. Part of his comments to me was questioning how Biblical friendship and discipleship relied on one another and if they could exist independently. Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 2:2 (NIV) to entrust his words to “reliable people” who are “also qualified to teach others.” He is telling Timothy to entrust the wisdom of Jesus to other men of faith who can pass on this information to others.
     At its core, I think it is safe to say that Biblical friendship can equal discipleship. They already live in the same space, relying on one another. The goal of both of these concepts is to strengthen the relationship we have with Jesus Christ. It is to find a maturity that we currently do not have but is obtainable through refining our relationships with the men around us as we learn from one another. We can see this as we read through the Gospels and see how the Apostles started as a group of men. There are numerous instances where Jesus calls his disciples friends, specifically in John 15:13-15 and John 21:5. These friendships can last for a lifetime when Jesus is at the center. Our God stays the same as our lives change, and His love for us does not subside. Where it may look a little different as we move in and out of the seasons of life, He will be the consistency that draws all of us back to one another, even when distance becomes an obstacle.   
     I am unsure that I have ever looked at the concept of discipleship through the lens of Biblical friendship. I have always believed that it was a mentorship type of dynamic. There was usually the mentor, an older man, mature in their walk, who was full of wisdom to offer to the younger man, new to his. I am confident that there are instances of this, and they model an effective form of discipleship, but it seems to me that it is more of an exception than the norm. We may be selling ourselves short to think that we cannot learn from another man who is “new” to his walk. I have adjusted my attitude that regardless of age or length of their belief, we can learn from anyone if that is our intent. I also had to redefine what I thought discipleship meant. Today, I think it is more of a journey with another man, walking alongside them through the trials we both face. God has me in that man's life for a specific reason; sometimes, it is to teach, and other times, to learn. My job is to be willing to step into those opportunities that the Holy Spirit provides and follow the prompt I am given.
     More often than not, the men I come in contact with who are willing to connect in Biblical friendship and discipleship are through the church community I belong to. It is more a result of this being where I am socially active more than anything. I can engage in these discipleship relationships outside the church, but they are less often. They also take on a different flavor, as many of these men do not have the same belief I do in Jesus. On the front end of things, there is more focus on building our relationship as friends and finding common ground. Once that is established, we slowly move into discipleship. I never shy away from voicing my love and commitment to Jesus, but the conversation does not look the same. It serves no purpose to push this onto people, as many of them have religious wounding or little experience with Jesus. Once you have built trust, you will be invited into these relationships as friends, not as an adversary or outsider. It will make those conversations more comfortable. I have never felt it was my responsibility to convert someone's religious views or preferences. I must communicate who Jesus is and what he has done in my life. Discipleship can be conducted within relationships that are reliant on community to flourish.[1]
     Making Jesus your Lord and Saviour is a profoundly personal and intimate choice. It should be well thought out, as it will become a lifestyle to see prolonged growth, not a check-the-block, with an hour at church on Sunday. I think this is one of the beautiful things about our God. He provides us opportunities with a varied audience to work in His Kingdom.
     As I reflect on this blog, I can see the power of the Holy Spirit and how it has transformed my thinking. It has opened my mind to opportunities I did not know existed and shown me a measure of patience. I have to exhibit the same amount of trust in Jesus that other men show me in our relationship so that they may bear fruit. Modeling Biblical friendship and discipleship enables us to build effective, long-lasting relationships that will endure and result in the multiplication of other disciples. I would recommend a few additional Scriptures to explore and reinforce the message of this blog: Luke 6:40, Matthew 5:14-16 and Ephesians 4:11-17. God Bless.
[1] Ralph Lee, “Discipleship in Oriental Orthodox and Evangelical Communities,” Religions 12, no. 5 (May 2021): 4.
 

    How does one encourage men to live and participate in community? There are many different ways to approach this, but when we look at the early church, we can find a model for this in the Book of Acts. The verses here present a marvelous blueprint for what Jesus intended the church to be. There is a specific mention of “fellowship” and “meeting together” in Acts 2:42-47 (NIV). These sections show a picture of a community within the church. A church is more than a building; it is a network of people supporting one another physically, emotionally, and spiritually.[1] We need to encourage men to get involved in the church and be purposeful in inviting other men to be part of the church. It is something we seem to have lost in today's world.
     How does one measure the health of a church? I think that many things can contribute to this. A common thing you see in many churches today is planning events around the church to draw people to it. The church becomes more about its programming and attracting believers to their church. It is flawed in a few ways as it seems to recycle Christians from one church to another, and believers get lost in the translation. It is fancy and loud, but in the end, the church lives to attract people to it, not to present the Gospel to the world. It is easy to see how we have lost our way.
     Do not get me wrong, having a church to gather and worship our God is essential, but it is just a building where other like-minded Christians meet to gather and hear the Word. The community within the church must be active in what is happening in the church. Church staff cannot meet the needs of the entire congregation. Regardless of the staff size or the church, it is impossible to always be available for everyone. Volunteers need to step up to lead ministries and minister to the congregation under the watch of its pastors. We can see this in the Bible as early as Exodus, where Moses appointed Judges to help settle the people's disputes.  
     How do we get men involved in the church community? We first must invite them to events designed for men and focus on fellowship. These events should be informal, have food and drinks, and relate to their interests. Where the church can handle the heavy lifting of getting the news out for the event, personal invitations are a must for success. Everyone is busy, and there needs to be encouragement through an individual invite from another man attending the event. The gatherings should respect the time of those in attendance to ensure it validates the value of their time. Starting promptly and staying on schedule are essential. It is an opportunity to get to know one another, see where their interests lie, and solicit feedback. It is vital to have a few speakers willing to share their testimony on how Jesus has transformed their lives. Where the pastor is here for support and to provide vision, the church's men need to step up into leadership in these programs. 
     To successfully provide an avenue for fellowship within the church, a good mix of programs and organic interactions must be created. As mentioned above, the program piece accomplishes getting the men into a space. There needs to be a purpose to this, as one event generally builds momentum off a previous one. Retreats can be powerful tools for men to gather in fellowship. The organic connections formed during these events are invaluable in developing and transforming the spiritual lives of the men involved. This is where the power of the Holy Spirit is shown. He will act as a guide to show these men the pathway to enter into meaningful relationships with one another, encouraging them to interact.         
Getting men involved will require commitment and sacrifice for both the leaders and the participants. Inevitably, interactions must be relational to grow, and building relationships takes time and trust to develop. The goal is to make this a value for all those included and keep them engaged so that it can be a source of multiplication. There needs to be an intentional ask for men willing to invest in others in Biblical friendship. Within this model, men can be equipped with the knowledge to engage and disciple other men. We cannot view the time we spend in community as a block to check or a spreadsheet to track. The recipe here is simple: participate in community and invite the Holy Spirit into these spaces to fill in the details.
Reflection
As I reflect on this blog, this seems to be a daunting task. The goal here is to pull men out of the world and bring them into the folds of community. It can be an extremely messy business and needs to be done with the right amount of love, encouragement, and reinforcement. I would recommend a few additional Scriptures to explore and reinforce the message of this blog: Deuteronomy 15:1-11, 1 John 1:7, and Matthew 5:13-16. God Bless.


[1] Blessing Onoriode Boloje, “Deuteronomy 15:1–11 and Its Socio-Economic Blueprints for Community Living,” HTS Theological Studies 74, no. 1 (2018): 4.
 

 ​     How do we define masculinity? Much of that depends on the culture you grew up in and can have many facets and dynamics associated with it. To expand this thought process, we need to define where our truth comes from. Is it the world? Our upbringing? The Bible? Our truth ultimately determines how we view the world and its contents. The truth I found lies within Micah 6:8 (NIV). This verse tells us to be humble, show mercy, and be kind. It is a great place to start to define what Biblical masculinity looks like. It contrasts with what we see daily in our churches, schools, workplaces, and society. Fear of judgment and what people will say often keeps us in a place of passivity. I challenge myself daily to step out of these chains to be the man God designed me to be. Results vary as I often struggle to rely on Christ to get me there. I use three words to describe this struggle: “I got this.” The fact is that without Jesus, I do not.  
     As I mentioned earlier, masculinity generally results from how society defines it.[1] Biblical concepts are not considered; instead, they are ignored and, I think, forgotten. Toxic masculinity is a myth that societal and cultural norms have created to advance their narrative. Do men exhibit unhealthy traits? Some of them do, but I would challenge you that this has less to do with their masculinity and more to do with the society and culture they were raised in. We are a direct result of our upbringing. Not dealing with the traumas we experience through life adds a complex layer to all of this, often leading to how we define ourselves as men. While saying that our behavior starts with mom and dad can be a cliché, it is more relevant than many would like to admit.
     How can something that God designed be toxic? The short answer is it cannot. It is not to say that, as men, we fall short. We do, daily, me included. It comes down to our motives and how they are translated into action. There is much confusion around meekness. I can personally attest to my original worldview that meekness equals weakness. It turns out that meekness looks much like humility. There is a vast difference in the mindset that approaches addressing situations from a position of humility versus weakness. This mentality can lead us to be fearful and cause us to react in an aggressive, unemotional fashion. These behaviors are dangerous and damaging to everyone around us.
     Biblical friendship is essential as we need other Godly men to model this behavior and help us navigate how to cultivate our hearts to Jesus and His characteristics. The good thing about having Christian men in your life is that they will give you a biblical answer when you seek and struggle to find resolutions. I am eternally thankful for the strong men God has so gracefully brought into my life to keep me centered and on the healing path. All of these men exhibit Biblical masculinity differently. It is manifested through their humility, gentleness, kindness, and ability to do the hard thing when it is unpopular. They are willing to accept that they are imperfect and continually seek Jesus for answers. It challenged my thinking to look at things out of love, meet people where they are, and use Jesus’ love to understand their situation. It would be impossible to do this without these men pointing out that I should not let my misinformed opinion of another person get in the way. There is a tremendous amount of truth we do not recognize in someone else's circumstances.  
     The other myth that abounds is that men should not have emotions, and crying is taboo in many cultures. This is a lie that Satan tells us. Men are emotional beings with a full range of sentiments that sometimes require us to liberate these feelings through crying. I witnessed this firsthand during a trip to Kenya, Africa. I was engaged then, and my fiancé was also on the trip. We had arranged to get married when we were on safari, much to the surprise of the rest of the group we were traveling with. To give this picture context, I am about six foot tall, weigh two hundred and fifty pounds, and am bearded and burly. It is fair to say I am a masculine man and can be rough around the edges. It must be all my time in the military and working on construction sites! My wife often refers to me as a brute, as I do not realize my size and strength. I remember the emotions rolling over me as we stood at the border rock between Tanzania and Kenya. It resulted in tears of joy as we recited our vows. I remember later our pastor sharing that our tour guide was confused by the outward showing of my sentiments. In his culture, expressing any outward emotion was shameful, and he would have to do things like this in isolation. I have not seen this man since we left Kenya almost six years ago, but my hope and prayer is this had an impact on him, and God uses it to encourage him. 
     As I reflect on this blog, I realize that an absence of biblically masculine men is what Satan wants. It removes us from our designed positions as leaders. Every man is a leader in a place, and being uncentered in the Word and focused in the world hinders our ability to be effective in our spheres of influence. It is often lonely to take a stand and do the right thing, to be different. This is why it is so important to surround ourselves with other strong Christian men. We need to be different in the places we are, not conform in the world, but in the masculinity that Christ has apportioned for us. People will notice and ask us why we are different when we do this. These questions lead to conversations about Jesus. I would recommend a few additional Scriptures to explore and reinforce the message of this blog: Ephesians 5:25-32, John 13:14-15, and Matthew 6:33. God Bless.
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[1] Kristopher Norris, “Toxic Masculinity and the Quest for Ecclesial Legitimation,” Journal of the Society of Christian Ethics 39, no. 2 (Fall 2019): 324.

                  Most of us live guarded lives. We hide behind privacy and isolation as key elements to maintain appearances. We are generally not who we appear to be, especially as men. Our identities become firmly engaged in a false sense of self. We surround ourselves with complicated emotions, as society tells us we stand alone. Our feelings are unwelcome and must be suppressed, locked away, and never dealt with. Titus 3:3 (NIV) tells us we have been disobedient, led away from the path, and “hate one another.” Our feelings resemble this, and our actions validate those emotions. We sometimes wear this disobedience as a badge of honor, and our attitudes match. Our hate manifests in the most unhealthy manners, and we find ourselves isolated on a fortified island of self, trapped within our emotions. It becomes our identity and a safe place to hide. In these darkest places, vulnerability is not often thought of.
          I have come to find out that vulnerability is a necessity in our walk with Jesus. It is an essential part of our surrender to reveal our hearts to Him. We cannot flourish in our relationship with Christ without being honest about who and what we are. The good news here is that we are loved in that condition we are in when we approach Jesus. He loves us regardless of the mental or physical situation we arrive in. Vulnerability includes loving ourselves. The two greatest commandments in Matthew 22:34-40 tell us to “love the Lord your God” and “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” We need to understand that this love should be approached with the heart of a servant. We need to extend the grace that Christ gives us to ourselves and realize it through humility and vulnerability. We can get to the other side of things. Anything is possible when we lean into Christ.
          When approaching a situation, it is expected to fear it, not be vulnerable to what happens, and be unwilling to change despite it.[1] Fear generally is manifested in the unknown. It creates anxiety as we are uncertain of what the outcome may look like or how to handle the situation. We are taught that fear is a weakness to be hidden away. It is crucial to face the fact that fear does not come from God, and we can have complete confidence that there is a plan for us through His will. My biggest problem is that since I do not understand it, I feel that it does not serve the purpose I want. I must remember that God does not manifest in my life as I tell Him to. I must be obedient and vulnerable, trusting that it will work as God intended. He is not interested in my opinion. It may sound harsh, but it showcases the importance of understanding what humility looks like. I am often my own worst enemy in letting my fear and anxiety manifest over things that do not come to fruition.  
          There needs to be a clear vision here. The pathway to Biblical friendship is paved through vulnerability as well. This behavior desperately needs to be modeled to other men. The world has told them they do not have emotions, and it is okay to bury them deep. Ask yourself how many friends you have. Of the close friends you can count on that single hand, how many of them can you have a conversation with that is not about yesterday's local sports franchise performance? Can you tell them that your marriage is struggling or you struggle with addiction? It is important to realize here that men who know how to model this should be placed where they can go first and share their struggles. This modeling reinforces that you are not the only one going through that experience. It is guaranteed when a struggle is expressed to a group of men, at least one or two of them can relate to you and are experiencing the same thing. It is essential to illustrate to other men that this is a shared experience, even where the details may vary. Most men want to share their struggles with someone who can relate to what they are going through.
          A part of vulnerability we need to learn and equip others is the ability to go first and share our trails. It requires humility and releasing the shame surrounding this situation. It will also be essential in leading us down the path to healing our traumas. We must be comfortable sharing our testimony and airing our problems to set an example of vulnerability. We need to be okay with saying we are not okay and trust that the man we tell will be responsible for what we tell them. I am not saying this will always work out, but we must try. It is also important to encourage someone when they are vulnerable and tell them how much you appreciate their courage to share. These are the places where an opportunity to build relationships and trust exists. We need to help carry the burdens of our brothers to reinforce what Biblical community and friendship look like. The interactions here facilitate long-term healing, discipleship, and the opportunity to engage other men similarly. 
            As I reflect on this blog, I am reminded that vulnerability is challenging to explain and even more problematic to live. It is counter-cultural and does not align with social norms. We may only have one chance to bridge that gap in a man's vulnerability to garner his trust instead of burying his emotions again. I know because I was that guy until I decided to trust another man with my emotions. God put him in that place to minister to me, and he was responsible. I could not have extended that trust without relying on Jesus in that moment. I was confident no matter how that interaction turned out, I would be okay. I would recommend a few additional Scriptures to explore and reinforce the message of this blog: James 1:1-27, Luke 6:27-36, and Matthew 26:39-42. God Bless.
[1] Smilen Markov, “Covid-19 and Orthodoxy: Uncertainty, Vulnerability, and the Hermeneutics of Divine Economy.” Analogia 17 (2022): 108–09.